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And the Winner is

Those Kooky Sociopaths

I’d like to announce the winner of the 2020 Presidential election. I will not be the first to call the election. Tons of media outlets have done so, virtually all for Biden. They’re probably right about who gets to sit in the chair, but whether or not they are, there is an actual winner in this election. And it’s crystal clear. There will need to be no recount. There will be no argument. Once I lay it out, everyone will agree that I’m correct. It’s not sleepy, creepy, Joe. It’s not ‘hair like piss colored cotton candy’ Trump. (And no, sadly it’s not Jo Jorgensen either….)

It’s the online gambling sites. Until the election is ‘officially called’ they’re keeping the money from both sides. Over a billion dollars was wagered. Every day this drags on, they’re earning about $14,000 in interest. OK, it’s not a lot in the big scheme of things, but compared to the poor gamblers, who will get nothing additional for all the time their money is tied up it’s pretty massive. And if the online casinos aren’t concerned with it, I can give them my public key so they can deposit it in my bitcoin locker. I’d be delighted to help.

The casinos still might lose overall, the money favored Trump by a lot, and the odds weren’t able to keep up. If Trump pulls this out the interest gains will be more than offset by how short the major services are on the Trump side. But if Biden is installed, as is now all but certain, it will be a big payday.

Of course, one other thing could happen here. Trump could flip a couple states in the courts. I haven’t read the ToS on any gambling site, but it is conceivable that they reserve the right to declare extraordinary circumstances like this a push, which would mean that neither side wins the bet. If they do that (if they are able to do that) they simply return all the punters’ money, avoid the Trump payout losses, and keep all the interest payments. Ain’t gambling great? If you’re the house, and you don’t care about the country.

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